I Really Think Everything Is Fair Game.

The First Time I Did Stand-up Was The Summer I Was 17.

I've Always Kept My Overhead Low So I Could Do Whatever I Want. I Think Of Myself As Lazy With Spurts Of Getting A Lot Done. I Find Myself Rooting Against Things Sometimes Because I Get Excited At The Thought Of A Clean Slate.

People Who Follow Their Religion To The Letter Of The Law Are Just Silly. I Mean, I Want To Tell Hasidic Jews I Promise You, God Will Not Mind If You Wear A Nice Cotton Blend In The Summer.

When You’re A Bed Wetter There’s Only One Group Of People You Can Feel Better Than, Bed Shitters, And Unfortunately They’re Hard To Come By.

I Learned Pretty Early Is I Never Defend My Material; It's For Other People To If Someone Is Offended. It's So Subjective, And If You Don't Find It Funny, It's Definitely Going To Be Offensive.