I Really Don't Go Out Every Night

Serious And Intense People, They Drain You. But Someone Who's An Idiot, Like Myself, They're Fun. You Either Hate Me Or You Love Me.

You Don't Have To Be Inspired By Comedians. You Have To Be Inspired By Things That Are Real, Whether It's Music, Comedy...a Movie - That Should Inspire You.

I Want To Have My Face Look Like Brad Pitt. Then I'll Be With Jennifer Aniston And Then Angelina Jolie. Then The Real Brad Pitt Will Come In, And We'll Have A Brad Pitt Face-off.

I Think You Gotta Look At Stuff Half-full As Opposed To Half-empty.

My Mom Is Two People To Me. She's My Mom Number One, And Then She's This Lady Most Comedians Know As Being A Legendary Owner Of A Nightclub That's Responsible For Starting A Lot Of Heavy Careers.