I Never Laugh Until I've Had My

Hell, If I'd Jumped On All The Dames I'm Supposed To Have Jumped On, I'd Have Had No Time To Go Fishing.

Disagreeing With The Fervent Patriotism Of The Confederates: "i Think It's Hard Winning A War With Words, Gentlemen. . . . I'm Saying Very Plainly That The Yankees Are Better Equipped Than We. . . . All We've Got Is Cotton And Slaves, And Arrogance." "i Seem To Be Spoiling Everybody's Brandy And Cigars And Dreams Of Victory."

Honey, We All Got To Go Sometime, Reason Or No Reason. Dying's As Natural As Living. The Man Who's Too Afraid To Die Is Too Afraid To Live.

I Don't Discuss Women At All With Anyone. There Are Good Qualities In All Women. Some May Be Lacking In Some Of These Qualities And Should Have Them. I'm Liable To Say So And Hurt Their Feelings, And It Wouldn't Be Meant That Way At All.

The Only Reason They Come To See Me Is That I Know That Life Is Great - And They Know I Know It.