I Never Know How Much Of What

I Never Know How Much Of What I Say Is True.

I Wish America Would Spend Even Half As Much Time Complaining About Plastics In Our Oceans As We Do About Actresses' Plastic Surgery.

When The Movies First Started, Audiences Were Dumbstruck To See Actresses Walking Around In Evening Gowns. They'd Never Seen Anything Like That. They Wanted To Be Like Those Actors And Actresses, So The Movies Informed Their Behavior. A Lot Of People Started Drinking Martinis And Smoking Cigarettes Because They Felt It Was Cool.

In A Marriage, You Struggle And Struggle And Struggle, And Then You Realize That You Have To Ride The Horse In The Direction It's Going. You Stop Trying To Pull The Reins In Another Direction.

The Only Thing Madonna Will Ever Do Like A Virgin Is Give Birth In A Stable.