I Must Say I'm Not Very Fond

Why Is It That Traveling Americans Are Always So Dreadful?

Our American Professors Like Their Literature Clear And Cold And Pure And Very Dead.

Most Troubles Are Unnecessary. We Have Nature Beaten; We Can Make Her Grow Wheat; We Can Keep Warm When She Sends Blizzards. So We Raise The Devil Just For Pleasure--wars, Politics, Race-hatreds, Labor-disputes.

A Man Takes A Drink, The Drink Takes Another, And The Drink Takes The Man.

There Are Two Insults Which No Human Being Will Endure: The Assertion That He Hasn't A Sense Of Humor, And The Doubly Impertinent Assertion That He Has Never Known Trouble.