I Met My First Midget In Mexico,

Thanksgiving Is Coming. I Wonder What The Holiday Will Be Like At Dog The Bounty Hunter’s House—obviously, They’ll Have A Turkey With All-white Meat.

My Relationship With My Father Had Been On The Proverbial Fritz Since The Time I Was Fifteen And Called The Police To Report Him For Child Molesting. He Had Never Molested Me, But I Wanted To Have A Party That Weekend And Needed Him Out Of The House.

Reality Tv's Pretty Tricky For Me. I Don't Really Watch Anything Like That, Because I Think It's Brain-sucking.

Have You Ever Been To An Aa Meeting? No Wonder These People Are Alcoholics - I've Never Needed A Drink More Badly In My Life.

I Think Bullying Of Anybody, Whether They're Gay Or Straight Or Anything In High School Is Unbearable.