I Loved To Fall Down.

10 Years Ago, I Would've Host Saturday Night Live. But To Me, The Show Has Declined. For Some Reason, Humor Isn't What It Was. It Just, To Me, It's Not As Funny As It Was, Not As Sharply Satirical.

I Asked Fred Astaire Once When He Was About My Age If He Still Danced, And He Said 'yes, But It Hurts Now.' That's Exactly It. I Can Still Dance Too, But It Hurts Now!

[my Mother] Once Cooked A Ham And Later Found It In My Father's Shirt Drawer. I Am Not Kidding.

In My Seventies, I Exercised To Stay Ambulatory. In My Eighties, I Exercise To Avoid Assisted Living.

Once I Got A Job Singing And Dancing, A Reasonable Person Might Think, "maybe I Should Learn How To Do This." But No, I Never Did.