I Love Writing Songs. I'm A Songwriter.

I'm Still A Horse That Can Run. I May Not Be Able To Win The Derby, But What Do You Do When You Retire? People Retire And They Vegetate. They Go Away And They Dry Up.

The More Serious The Situation, The Funnier The Comedy Can Be. The Greatest Comedy Plays Against The Greatest Tragedy. Comedy Is A Red Rubber Ball And If You Throw It Against A Soft, Funny Wall, It Will Not Come Back. But If You Throw It Against The Hard Wall Of Ultimate Reality, It Will Bounce Back And Be Very Lively. Very, Very Few People Understand This.

When I Was A Little Kid, If Somebody Said They Were Thirty-five, I'd Say "oooh, They're Going To Die Soon". But As I Get Older It Doesn't Mean A Thing. You Mustn't Ever Give In. Never Give In To Thinking You're Old, Because You're Never Old. Your Mind, And I Tell You This And Listen To Me Carefully, Your Mind Is Never, Ever Old, It's Eternally Young.

Tolstoy Was The Most Gifted Writer Who Ever Lived. It's Like He Stuck A Pen In His Heart And It Didn't Even Go Through His Mind On Its Way To The Page.

There's Not Enough Bad Taste! I Love Bad Taste! I Live For Bad Taste! I Am The Spokesman For Bad Taste!