I Love To Bake, So I Made

You Know What They Say: 'why Sit At A Table That Doesn't Have Key Lime Pie On It If You Don't Have To?'

The Nursery Rhyme Ends When A Spider Comes Along And Frightens Miss Muffet Straight Off Her Tuffet. I Have Wondered About What Kind Of Lesson This Is For A Young Girl. If You're Eating Your Curds And Whey And A Spider Comes Along, I Don't Think There's Anything Wrong With Picking Up A Newspaper, Smashing It, And Going Back To Your Breakfast.

The Children Were Overwhelmingly Morbid. Not A Single Adult Asked Me Where Butterflies Go When They Die, But This Question Was More Popular Than Pixie Sticks With The Under-four-foot Set. I Cursed Parents For Not Preparing Their Children. When I Was Five, My Mother And Sister Sat Me Up On The Kitchen Counter And Explained The Facts Of Life: The Easter Bunny Didn't Exist, Elijah Was God's Invisible Friend, With Any Luck Nana Would Die Soon, And If I Ever Saw A Unicorn, I Should Kill It Or Catch It For Cash. I Turned Out Okay.

But Now My Problems Had Been Set Loose. They Could Be Anywhere At Any Time And I Was Just Like Everyone Else I Knew: Almost Positive That There Was Something Profoundly And Undiagnosably Wrong With Me.

Every Day Of My Adult Life, I Have Worn At Least One Piece Of Jewelry From My Maternal Grandmother's Collection, All Of Which Were Manufactured By Famed Danish Silversmith Georg Jensen. To The Naked Eye, I Am Either A Jensen Loyalist Or A Grandmother Loyalist. Really I Am Just A Pretty Things Loyalist.