I Love The Idea That 'a Person

I Don't Feel Any Pressure To Be Funny At All. I'm Funny Because I Want To Be Funny. I Could Sit Here And Be Serious For An Hour And You Would Go Away And Make Me Much Funnier Than I Am.

It's Time To P-a-r-t-why? Because I Gotta!

I Try To Do Something The Audience Might Not Have Seen Before. Like If I'm Gonna Kiss A Girl I Wanna Kiss Her Like A Girl Has Never Been Kissed. Like Maybe I Would Kick Her Legs Out From Under Her And Catch Her Right Before She Hits The Ground And Then Kiss Her.

Don't Worry If You Miss Your Cue, Because There's Always Doors Opening. They Keep Opening.

My Teacher In The Seventh Grade Told Me That If I Didn't Fool Around During Class, I Could Have 15 Minutes At The End Of The Day To Do A Comedy Routine. Instead Of Bugging Everybody, I'd Figure Out My Routine. And At The End Of The Day, I'd Get To Perform In Front Of My Entire Class. I Thought It Was Really Smart Of Her. It's Amazing How Important That Was.