I Love Standup Comedians. I Really Do.

Meredith Baxter Birney Gets Beaten By A Rod, In The Lifetime Original, Rod.

I'd Have To Say Sunset Salsa. Nothing Against Honey Lime, But It's For Losers.

I Come From A Very Big Family. Nine Parents.

Thanksgiving, You Know - Thanksgiving - It's Like We Didn't Even Try To Come Up With A Tradition. The Tradition Is We Overeat.

Screaming. Did I Mention The Screaming? Screaming Is Usually Associated With Horror Films And Roller Coasters. This Is Why I Usually Look Like I've Just Watched A Horror Film On A Rollercoaster. Kids Love To Scream. Frightened, Happy, Bored. They Scream. I've Actually Learned To Love The Sound Of A Vacuum Cleaner. It's Just So Peaceful.