I Love Standup Comedians. I Really Do.

There Should Be A Children's Song: 'if You're Happy And You Know It, Keep It To Yourself And Let Your Dad Sleep'.

You Can Never Find The Right Bowling Ball. This One's Too Heavy. This One's Good But Its Pink!

I Spent Most Of My Adult Life Essentially Agnostic Or An Atheist.

Other People's Children's Birthday Parties Are The Most Joyful Events You Will Ever Resent Having To Attend.

I Lived Across From A Catholic Church For 15 Years That I Never Went Into. And Then I Got Married To My Wife And - You Know, And Now We're Going In There Every Other Day Baptizing A Kid.