I Love Shirley Maclaine, Love That Woman.

I Never Felt I Had To Prove Myself With Anything.

Grease Is The Only Cure For A Hangover.

I Have Always Had The Same New Year Resolutions: To Stop Smoking, To Start Wearing A Bra, And To Stop Shopping.

I Sincerely Apologize To Anyone I May Have Inadvertently Offended...the Bag Was A Purchase I Made As A Tourist In China.

It's Not Talked About, But You Know How Girls, As You Get Older, Your Boobs Sag? Well, As Men Get Older, Their Balls Hang Lower. It's Called Sbh: Senior Ball Hang. I Think That's God's Way Of Making Sure Guys Get To Feel Insecure Too.