I Love Comedy. God Has Given Me

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Dog Can't Watch You Eat Without Gagging.

When I Was A Kid, My Parents Had A 900-pound Television On Top Of A Tv Tray. My Dad's Theory Was, 'let Him Pull It Over His Head A Few Times, He'll Learn.'

Some People Like To Keep Their Grass Cut Really Short, So They Can See The Intruders Coming. Keep Those Kill Zones Open. I Say Let The Grass Grow Tall So They Don't Know There's A House Behind It. Some Call It Lazy, I Say It's Thinking.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Have A Very Special Baseball Cap, Just For Formal Occasions.

You Might Be A Redneck If You're A Lite Beer Drinker, Because You Start Drinking When It Gets Light.