I Live A Sensible Life. You Know,

Just Think Of All The Billions Of Coincidences That Don't Happen.

I Did Standup While Still Working For Johnny Carson In The Mid-'60s, Thus Gaining The Advantage Of At Least Getting Laughs From Him About How I Hadn't The Night Before.

I Like When The Ice Gets Thin, The Going Gets Rough, The Guests Get Edgy.

It's A Tribute To The Human Brain That Anyone Is Able To Function Out There On Television In A Talk Situation That Is Entirely Artificial.

I Am Always Shocked That There Are Still A Handful Of Defenders Of The Dubious Practice Of Abstinence, Surely The Worst Idea Since Chocolate-covered Ants.