I Literally Cannot Remember One Joke.

I've Come To Believe That The Simpler The Title, The Better. Whenever I Try To Get Cute With It, It Seems To Be A Problem But If It's Just The 40-year-old Virgin, People Seem To Know What They're In For.

I Was Bad At Sports And Picked Last Every Day. I Couldn't Quite Figure Out What My Role Was In The Social Order, So I Decided I Was Interested In Comedy. And What Was Then Interesting Was, Nobody Else Was Interested In It At All. I Didn't Find One Friend Who Was Interested In Comedy Until I Moved To California And Met Other Comedians. And Suddenly I Knew Hundreds Of People Who Knew As Much About Sctv As I Did. But It Took Me 20 Years To Find Those People.

The Great Thing About Eminem Is, He's Just Hysterical. You Forget, People Like Eminem Because He Is Riotously Funny. And He's A Great Actor.

College Is The Reward For Surviving High School. Most People Have Great Fun Stories From College And Nightmare Stories From High School.

I Literally Cannot Remember One Joke.