I Like Being Absurd. Being Silly.

The 'tonight Show' Didn't Seem Like An Actual Job That You Could Have. All You Remember Is You Watched Johnny Carson, And You Never Thought He Would Retire.

I Love Nashville. I've Been Here So Many Times... Oh Man, I Would Stay Here For A Year If I Could. It's Just So Much Fun.

We Have First Lady Michelle Obama On The Show Tonight. As You'd Expect, Security's Been Pretty Tight. On My Way In I Got Five Pat-downs, And That Was Just From Joe Biden.

George W. Bush Gave A Commencement Speech At Southern Methodist University This Weekend. It Was Pretty Inspirational. He Said, 'as I Like To Tell The 'c' Students, You Too Can Be President.' Even George W. Bush Has George W. Bush Comedy Material In His Act.

It Was Just Revealed That Donald Trump Hasn't Voted In Primary Elections In Over 20 Years. Or In Simpler Terms, Trump Hasn't Voted In Primary Elections In Over Three Wives.