I Know I Am Extraordinarily Lucky To

Football Is A Simple Game. Twenty-two Men Chase A Ball For 90 Minutes And At The End, The Germans Always Win.

Footballers Are More Likely To Work Better If They Get A Pat On Their Back From The Boss. A Knife In The Back Is Never The Answer.

Ooh, It's Too ­embarrassing To Share My Innermost Romantic Secrets - Although I Have Written Danielle The Odd Poem. If Anything They Are More Comedic Than Romantic. They Used To Be Well ­received But That Was Before She Started Studying Shakespeare At Drama College. Now I Feel So ­inept.

Soccer Is A Game For 22 People That Run Around, Play The Ball, And One Referee Who Makes A Slew Of Mistakes, And In The End Germany Always Wins.

I Was Quite Good At Football Once, Although Other Than That My Speciality Would Be Maths. I'm Great At Sudokus And Find All The Spin-off Games Pretty Easy Too.