I Just Want Texas To Be Number

I'll Keep Us Out Of War With Oklahoma!

The Only Thing That Really Differentiates Texas From Any Other Place In The World Is The Proclivity Of Its People To Urinate Outdoors And To Attach A Certain Amount Of Importance To This Popular Pastime.

I Support Gay Marriage. I Believe They Have A Right To Be As Miserable As The Rest Of Us.

The Reason Educational Spending In Texas Is So Low Is Because You Don't Have A State Tax There, And That's Why Texas Is Big Growth Because You Don't Tax People To Death.

Whether Your Destination Is Heaven Or Hell, You Always Have To Change Planes In Dallas.