I Just Don't Like Travelling Very Much.

There Have Been Some Very Extreme Hecklers In Audiences Whose Bile Was So Hateful And So Meant That It Would Be A Bit Frightening To Think That All I'm Doing Is Jokes And Yet Someone Hates Me That Much.

I Think It's So Easy When You Have Children Just To Turn Your Focus Inward On Your Family And Because, When They're Young, You Don't Sleep Very Much, You're Walking Around Like A Zombie Most Of The Time Anyway. It's A Really Important Part Of My Life To Have Good Friends, You Have To Work Quite Hard To Keep The Relationships Going But It's Worth It.

When You Cry, You Don't Look Very Attractive; You Look Snotty And Blotchy. People Seem To Manage To Cry Quite Prettily These Days, And To Me, That Smacks Of Not Being Very Genuine.

I'm Not A Flag Waver For Obesity. It's Not Healthy, And You Have A Crap Life Because There Is Such A Downer On It.

I Often Tell Audiences At The Start Of My Shows That I'm Not Gay Because I've Got Petitions From Lesbian Groups Saying 'can You Tell People You're Heterosexual Because You're Giving Us A Bad Name.'