I Have The Right To Life, Liberty

I Can't Have A Big Breakfast Or A Big Lunch Because I Get Very Lethargic, And Then I Get Really Cranky. I Eat, But I Have To Eat Small, Healthful Amounts Of Food.

There’s A Whole List Of Things I Would Probably Change About Myself. For Example, I’m Always Trying To Lose Fifteen Pounds. But I Never Need To Be Skinny. I Don’t Want To Be Skinny. I’m Constantly In A State Of Self-improvement But I Don’t Beat Myself Up Over It.

I've Always Had That Chip On My Shoulder. I've Just Always Been Super Hard On Myself.

Besides, Who Wants To Read About Success, Anyway? Successful Serial Murderers, Maybe.

Comedy Writers Have The Most Fragile Egos.