I Have Terrible Short-term Memory Loss, Which

I'm Really More Prolific Than Most Stand-ups. My Act Changes. I Do Fold In New Experiences, New Observations, Whatever You Want To Call It.

I Made Mistakes And I Broke The Law And I'm More Than Willing To Pay A Price For That. But There's A Price Beyond That That My Children Have Paid, And That's Not What Was Supposed To Happen.

I Love Key Lime Pie, Although It's Never Made The Proper Way.

President Obama Could Keep A Big Map With Push Pins On It To Keep Track Of How Many Countries Hate Us, And When We Get Down To Only Half, Let's Have A Ball. I'll Blow Up The Balloons Myself.

I Happen To Be A Devout Atheist. I Don't Believe In God. I Still Go To Church -- I'm Not A Heathen. I Go To An Atheist Church. We Have Crippled Guys Who Stand Up And Testify That They Were Crippled, And They Still Are.