I Have Nothing Against Women. As A

I Never Tell An Audience What They Can Expect. I Never Have And I Never Will. I'm An Entertainer For 75 Years.

People Hate Me Because I Am A Multifaceted, Talented, Wealthy, Internationally Famous Genius.

I Tell Young Comics, 'do You Want This Badly Enough? It's There. But You Have To Go Get It. And If You Think I'm Going To Give You The Key To The Lock Of That Door, There Is No Key, There Is No Lock, And There Is No Door.'

It'll Keep You Alive For Another 10 Years If You Get Yourself A Laugh Once A Day: Either Provoke It, Or Look Around In The Wildest Laboratory In The World, The Public.

I Have Some Very Personal Feelings About Politics, But I Don't Get Into It Because I Do Comedy Already.