I Have An Amazing Metabolism. I'm Sure

Writing Your Own Jokes, You Just Kind Of Keep Working On Something Until You Think It Might Work, And Then You Try It Out And Hope For The Best.

Maybe That's Why I Don't Like Religion Because The First Introduction To It Was, You Don't Get To Do That Thing You Just Discovered That You Really Enjoy.

You've Got To Be Pretty Confident That You're Good. If I Do A Show And For Whatever Reason No One Laughs, I'll Be Like, 'wow, Those People Are Weird'.

One Of My Life Goals Is To Be A Best Man. It's A Baller Position. You Get Drunk, You Make Speeches, And You Make Love To The Prettiest Bridesmaid, Usually Standing From Behind.

Come Cook Food With Me And Do Nothing.