I Have A Longing For Fiction -

I Think There Are A Lot Of Similarities Between Writing And Music. Music Is Much More Direct And Much More Emotional And That's The Level I Want To Be At When I'm Writing. Writing Is Much More Intellectual And Indirect And Abstract, In A Way.

In Modern Novels I Try To Not Let Myself Get Away And To Be Here, And That's Why I Write About My Life And Myself. But Even When I Do That There's An Element Of Disappearing To A Place That's Not Me. It's "the Selflessness Of Writing". It Seldom Happens, But When It Does It's Worth Quite A Lot.

I Have A Longing For Fiction - To Try To Believe In It And To Disappear Into It.

A Problem With My Novels Is That They, From The Start, Have Been Infantile And Incredibly Childish. There Are Childishness, Stupidity, Lack Of Wisdom, Fantasies. At The Same Time, That's Where My Creativity Can Be Found. If I Tried To Control It And Make It More Mature, It Wouldn't Be Good At All. It'd Be Uninteresting, Without Any Vivacity.

And It's A Disquieting Thought That Not Even The Past Is Done With, Even That Continues To Change, As If In Reality There Is Only One Time, For Everything, One Time For Every Purpose Under Heaven. One Single Second, One Single Landscape, In Which What Happens Activates And Deactivates What Has Already Happened In Endless Chain Reactions, Like The Processes That Take Place In The Brain, Perhaps, Where Cells Suddenly Bloom And Die Away, All According To The Way The Winds Of Consciousness Are Blowing.