I Hate Reality Shows That Are Not

No More Botox For Me. Betty White's Bowels Move More Than My Face.

I'm No Cook. When I Want Lemon On Chicken, I Spray It With Pledge.

I Have No Sex Appeal. If My Husband Didn't Toss And Turn, We'd Never Have Had Any Kids.

I Will Only Praise Someone Who Can't Take Anything Away From Me.

My Mother Could Make Anybody Feel Guilty - She Used To Get Letters Of Apology From People She Didn't Even Know.