I Guess I've Got A Smart Wife.

When The Waitress Asked If I Wanted My Pizza Cut Into Four Or Eight Slices, I Said, 'four. I Don't Think I Can Eat Eight.'

You Should Always Go To Other People's Funerals, Otherwise, They Won't Come To Yours.

Every Time I See Him, He's Not There.

If You Ask Me Anything I Don't Know, I'm Not Going To Answer.

Yeah? For What Paper?