I Grew Up 45 Minutes Outside Of

I Was The Youngest Of Six Kids, So Yeah, Feeding Myself Was Important, But It's Not Like I Was Obsessed With Food Growing Up.

I Initially Signed Up For Twitter Just To Do Jokes I Wasn't Going To Do In My Stand-up Routine.

I've Always Wanted To Be An Actor. I've Never Planned On The Acting And The Stand-up Feeding Each Other; They've Always Been Separate Desires.

Without Valentine's Day, February Would Be... Well, January.

You Never Want To Be The Worst Bowler Of The Group-because Then Everyone Treats You Like You Have Cancer. "you Can Do It! We're Praying For You." The Advice Starts. "use A Heavier Ball." "keep Your Arm Straight." "you Should Get A Vasectomy." If You're Really Bad At Bowling Like Me, They'll Ask If Want The Bumpers Up. Not That Bowling Is That Complex Anyway. "you Want The Bumpers? We Can Get Rid Of The Pins. Why Don't You Take This Coloring Book And Sit In The Corner?"