I Got A Pain In My Chest,

Laughter Survives... It Has To Survive.

Memories, Priceless. Well Not Really Priceless, But There You Go!

You Know How Mexican Restaurants Always Have "border" In The Name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You Wouldn't Do That To Black People: Kunta's Kitchen Or Shackles. They Don't Do It To White People. You Don't See The Honkey Grill, The Cracker Barrel... Oh, Nevermind.

It's An Honor To Walk In The Footsteps Of A Legend. As Host I Intend To Honor The Tradition Of The Bob Hope Classic And Have A Great Time Blazing A New Path.

If You Want A Show To Succeed, You're Going To Have To Have A Certain Amount Of People Watch Who Are Non-black And Non-latino. If You Can't Cross Over, You Don't Belong On Tv. That's Not Just Me Saying It. That's Just The Way It Is.