I Feel Bad For People Who Die

The Mayans Have Predicted The World Is Supposed To End On December 21. If The World Doesn't End On December 21, You Can Bet The Next Day The Malls Will Be Overrun With Mayans Trying To Buy Last-minute Gifts.

If Politicians All Told The Truth, We'd Be Out Of Business.

Disneyland Celebrated Its 40th Anniversary By Burying A Time Capsule. They Say It Will Be Dug Up In 50 Years - Or When The Last Person In Line At Space Mountain Gets To The Front, Whichever Comes First.

President Obama Was In India Yesterday Visiting Our Jobs. Tomorrow He Goes To China To Visit Our Money.

According To A New Survey, 90% Of Men Say Their Lover Is Also Their Best Friend. Which Is Really Kind Of Disturbing When You Consider Man's Best Friend Is His Dog.