I Don't Want To Say Gray Davis

The French Announced Today That They Would Not Help Us Remove Saddam From Iraq. Well Duh! They Didn't Even Help Us Remove Hitler From France.

Racecar Driving Is A Lot Like Sex; All Men Think They're Good At It.

As You May Have Heard, The U.s. Is Putting Together A Constitution For Iraq. Why Don't We Just Give Them Ours? Think About It - It Was Written By Very Smart People, It's Served Us Well For Over Two Hundred Years, And Besides, We're Not Using It Anymore.

In A Landmark Decision, The Supreme Court Ruled President Obama's Healthcare Mandate Is Constitutional. This Is A Major Victory For President Obama, Who Spent Three Years Promoting It, And A Major Setback For Mitt Romney, Who Spent Three Years Creating It.

Well, All Across The Country, This Is Kind Of Sad, Unemployment Offices Are Swamped With People Waiting To File For Unemployment Insurance. It's Gotten So Bad That The Offices Are Overwhelmed And Can't Function. I Got An Idea. Why Don't You Hire More People? They're Right There In Line. Speed This Whole Thing Up!