I Don't Want Enemies. I Want Friends,

Bieber Has 10 Million Fans - Most Are In Middle Schools, Or Standing At Least 500 Feet Away From One.

People Who Eat With Their Mouth Open Should Be Punched In The Face.

There Was One Incident At A Movie Theater Where My Girl Got Mad At These Guys Who Were Talking Behind Us. I Never Looked Back There, But She Was Like, 'will You All Just Shut Up!' And I Just Got Up And Moved Three Rows In Front. She Was Like, 'what Are You Doing?!' I Was Like, 'you Better Get Up Here! I Don't Play The Fighting Games.'

I Don't Have To Change Anything. I Think That's The Secret To Comedy. You Want To Be Universal And Appeal To Everyone. You Want To Put Yourself In A Position That No Matter What You're Talking About, Everyone Can Relate To It And Understand It, Because It's An Experience That Everyone Can Go Through. That's What I Pattern My Writing Material And Jokes After. I'm Trying To Maintain A Level Of Realness That My Fans Can Appreciate.

My Main Goal Is To Be A Self-made Man And Have Control Over What's Mine.