I Don't Suffer Fools, And I Like

There Are So Many Different Kinds Of People In America, With So Many Different Boiling Points, That We Don't Know How To Fight With Each Other. The Set Piece That Shapes And Contains Quarrels In Homogeneous Countries Does Not Exist Here. The Frenchman Is An Expert On The Precise Gradations Of Espèce De And The Italian Knows Exactly When To Introduce The Subject Of His Other's Grave, But No American Can Be Sure How Or When Another Will React, So We Zap Each Other With Friendliness To Neutralize Potentially Dangerous Situations.

I Don't Mind Being Regarded As Perverted And Unnatural, But I Would Die If People Thought I Was A Democrat.

I Wasn't Used To Children And They Were Getting On My Nerves. Worse, It Appeared That I Was A Child, Too. I Hadn't Known That Before; I Thought I Was Just Short.

Americans Are So Emotionally Fragile That Soon We Will Have To Be Carried Around In Plastic Bubbles And Fed With An Eye-dropper.

The Copyeditor I Drew Was A Brachycephalic, Web-footed Cretin Who Should Have Been In An Institution Learning How To Make Brooms.