I Don't Like Jokes About Sex Or

It's So Warm Now, And Thanksgiving Came So Early - Is It Just Me, Or Does It Not Really Feel Like Ramadan?

Stocks Are At An All-time High Today. I Don't Have Any Money In The Stock Market. I Don't Have The Stomach For The Ups And Downs. So About 20 Years Ago I Put All Of My Money And Liquid Assets Into Videotape Rewind Machines.

Political Pundits Are Saying President George W. Bush Has Made Gains In Two Key States: Dazed And Confused.

You Know Kim Jong Un, The Evil Dictator Of North Korea? Apparently, A Guy In His Inner Circle Used His Ashtray While Smoking And Kim Jong Un Had Him Executed. I Remember The Same Thing Happened When A Guy Used Martha Stewart's Personal Lemon Zester.

Based On What You Know About Him In History Books, What Do You Think Abraham Lincoln Would Be Doing If He Were Alive Today? 1) Writing His Memoirs Of The Civil War. 2) Advising The President. 3) Desperately Clawing At The Inside Of His Coffin.