I Don't Know Why It's So Hard

They Say That Most Airline Seats On Planes Today Are Meant For 170-pound Passengers. The Last Time The Average American Weighed 170 Pounds, The Wright Brothers Were Flying The Plane.

Dean's Wife, Judith Steinberg, Made A Rare Appearance With Dean. She's A Doctor, So I Guess They Brought Her In To Stop The Hemorrhaging.

Last Night, We Had The First Gubernatorial Debate. Some People Are Criticizing Schwarzenegger For Not Going. They Say Arnold Goes Around Telling People He Cares, Everything Is Going To Be Great, Forget About Everything He Did In The '70s. Hey, It Worked For George Bush.

Here Is Your Government At Work. A Congressman From Colorado Said He Wants To Draft A Rule That Would Make It Unethical To Have A Sexual Relationship With An Intern. Only Congress Would Need A Rule To Tell Them Cheating On Their Wives Is Not Ethical. Don't We Have That Rule? I Believe It's Called The Sixth Commandment.

President Bush Listed His Income As $822,000. You Know What John Kerry Calls Someone Who Earns $822,000? Not Even Worth Dating.