I Don't Go To Premieres, Unless I'm

London Audiences Are Tricky, Too. They Don't Laugh As Much As The Northern Audiences Because, And I Hate To Say This, They Are A Bit Cleverer Normally, And They Are Picking Up On All The Little Details And Listening More Carefully.

Actually The Best Thing I Did Was To Get Thrown Out By My Wife. She's Living With A Fitness Instructor. He Drinks That Yellow Stuff In Tins. He's An Idiot.

Guide Dogs For The Blind. It's Cruel Really, Isn't It? Getting A Dog To Lead A Man Round All Day. Not Fair On Either Of Them.

I Never Had Any Desire To Be Famous. I Find People Who Do Really Sad. I Genuinely Feel Sorry For Them Because There Is Nothing Of Substancein Their Lives. I Am Happy When I Am Writing Or Performing. Not When I Sit There Being "famous". I Like Recognition For My Work, But Not Recognition For Being "that Bloke Off The Telly". It Is Genuinely Humbling When A Woman Comes Up To Me, As Someone Did Recently, To Say She Wanted To Commit Suicide After Her Husband Died, And My Show Cheered Her Up And Made Her Feel Better. That's Great.

I Am Of The Very Last Generation Who Didn't Have Computers At School. As We Grow Old We'll Become Something Of An Aberration.