I Don't Do Heroin Myself, But It's

Selling Pot Allowed Me To Get Through College And Make Enough Money To Start Off In Comedy.

Hot Women Have To Stop Putting Long Paragraphs Of Text On Their Bodies. I Know You Think It's Sexy But One Thing That Men Never Think Is, "gee, You Know What Would Make This Sex Better? Having Something To Read."

But Isn't There Something Wrong When I'm The Only Guy In The Country That Got Fired For 9/11?

It's So Childish, "greatest Country In The World." It's Like Saying, "i Have The Greatest Wife In The World. Not Just The One Best Suited For Me, The Greatest Wife In The World. And If You Could Have My Wife, You'd Kill Your Wife."

When I Was 5-years-old, I Knew Who Khrushchev Was.