I Don't Curse On Stage, But I

I Usually Don't Have A Burger, A Brat, And A Steak But It Is 4th Of July. And I Need The Energy If I'm Gonna Start Blowin Crap Up. It's What The Founding Fathers Would Want.

Isn't It Strange -- When You're Single, All You See Is Couples, And When You're Part Of A Couple, All You See Are Hookers.

Don't You Expect A Rainbow Coming Out Of The Tub Of Bacon Strips At The End Of The Buffet Line?

I Think When I Started Doing Stand-up, That's When I Really Tried To Question Everything In My Belief System Which Is - I Think A Pretty Important Part Of Being A Comedian Is Really Questioning Things.

For Me, Stand-up Comedy Is A Conversation Between Me And The Audience. I Have To Keep Them Listening. When I'm Making Jokes About Cake For Twenty Minutes, I Have To Make Sure My Audience Is Interested And Following Where I'm Going.