I Do Not Want To Make My

The Thought Of Two Thousand People Crunching Celery At The Same Time Horrified Me.

Life Is Too Short For Men To Take It Seriously.

It Is A Noteworthy Fact That Kicking And Beating Have Played So Considerable A Part In The Habits Which Necessity Has Imposed On Mankind In Past Ages That The Only Way Of Preventing Civilized Men From Beating And Kicking Their Wives Is To Organize Games In Which They Can Kick And Beat Balls.

Every Profession Is A Conspiracy Against The Laity.

Heaven, As Conventionally Conceived, Is A Place So Inane, So Dull, So Useless, So Miserable That Nobody Has Ever Ventured To Describe A Whole Day In Heaven, Though Plenty Of People Have Described A Day At The Seaside.