I Didn't Know He Was Dead; I

"boy, The Food At This Place Is Really Terrible." The Other One Says, "yeah, I Know; And Such Small Portions." Well, That's Essentially How I Feel About Life - Full Of Loneliness, And Misery, And Suffering, And Unhappiness, And It's All Over Much Too Quickly.

And My Parents Finally Realize I'm Kidnapped And They Snap Into Action Immediately: They Rent Out My Room.

I've Had Bad Luck In My Two Previous Marriages. The First Wife Left Me, And The Second Did Not. ­

Honey! Bring Down A Copy Of My Will - And An Eraser!

My Wife And I Thought We Were In Love, But It Turned Out To Be Benign