I Didn't Have To Work Out Before

I Look At Autism Like A Bus Accident, And You Don't Become Cured From A Bus Accident, But You Can Recover.

People Don't See This Side Of Me. They Don't Know I Read, Like, 800 Million Spiritual Books. Lately I Am Just Really Getting Into A Lot Of Spirituality.

Let Me See If I Can Put This In Scientific Terms: Think Of Autism Like A Fart, And Vaccines Are The Finger You Pull To Make It Happen.

Seven Years I Worked At The Polish Deli. It's A Very Slow Deli. So I Sat Around A Lot On My Stool At The Cashier. And I'd Sign My Autograph On All The Bags I'd Put The Milk In. Just Everyday, Practice My Autograph. And The Manager Of The Store Would Take Some Of Them And Tape Them Against The Wall. And He'd Say, "some Day, I'm Telling You, It Will Be Worth Something." And I'm Like 13, Going, "really?!" And When I Go Back There, He Still Has Them On The Wall. It's Very Cute.

Sometimes I Think Marriage Licenses Should Be Like Driver's Licenses. They Expire After A Number Of Years, And In Order To Keep Going You Have To Renew. Wouldn't That Be Kind Of Genius? It Would Force You Both To Look At The Relationship, And If It's Not Working, The Marriage Would Expire So You Could Go On Your Merry Way, Or On The Positive Side Of It, You Could Look At Each Other And Say We Really Want To Renew. What A Way To Keep It Fresh!!