I Didn't Get Hurt In The Contest.

Spread The Diaper In The Position Of The Diamond With You At Bat. Then Fold Second Base Down To Home And Set The Baby On The Pitcher's Mound. Put First Base And Third Together, Bring Up Home Plate And Pin The Three Together. Of Course, In Case Of Rain, You Gotta Call The Game And Start All Over Again.

Nutrition Makes Me Puke.

I Asked My Doctor How Many More Years I Have Left And He Said, 'you're Too Ornery To Die.

I'm The Gooney Bird That Walked To The Bank. I'm Doing Better Than Most Of Those Guys Who Said I Was Crazy.

I Didn't Get Hurt In The Contest. I Hurt It The Next Day.