I Did Bronze Survival Swimming. I Could

Never Put A Sock In A Toaster.

Performance Enhancing Drugs Are Banned In The Olympics. Ok, We Can Swing With That. But Performance 'debilitating' Drugs Should Not Be Banned. Smoke A Joint And Win The 100 Metres, Fair Play For You. That's Pretty Good. Unless Someone's Dangling A Mars Bar Off In The Distance.

I Don't Believe In God. So I'm A Non-believer In The Non-visible. I'm A Believer In Us; In Humans.

You Piss Me Off You Salmon... You're Too Expensive In Restaurants.

You Can't Land On The Moon And Say, "ooh, It's All Sticky! It's Covered In Jam!