I Deliver My Truth Hot And Hard.

Take The Platypus - That Is Not A Finished Product. It Is Clearly Still In Beta.

Tomorrow You're All Going To Wake Up In A Brave New World, A World Where The Constitution Gets Trampled By An Army Of Terrorist Clones Created In A Stem-cell Research Lab Run By Homosexual Doctors Who Sterilize Their Instruments Over Burning American Flags. Where Tax And Spend Democrats Take All Your Hard-earned Money And Use It To Buy Electric Cars For National Public Radio And Teach Evolution To Illegal Immigrants. Oh... And Everybody's High!

Like O'rielly, We'll Grab The Most Important Word Of Each Sentence... 'the' For Example. Also, I'll Say, 'i'm Angry,' And The Graphic Will Read, 'colbert Angry.

If Our Founding Fathers Wanted Us To Care About The Rest Of The World, They Wouldn't Have Declared Their Independence From It.

Some People Perceive Me As An Assassin Or At Least Someone Who Can Slip Under Your Guard With A Knife. But If You Watch What I Do, That's Almost Never The Case. I'm Just Trying To Keep The Balloon In The Air. It Rarely Turns Into Anything Combative.