I Come Up With My Jokes By

I Don't Have Much Racial Stuff In My Act. And No One's Ever Really Threatened Me To My Face. Threats On The Internet Don't Bother Me So Much.

I Think My Friends Wife Has Been Banging A Black Guy. Because They Just Had A Baby. And The Baby Had A Hole In It.

I Was Always Cutting Words. I Even Would Write My Jokes In My Notebook. I Still Do This, Almost Like A Poem.

I Don't Ever Want To Have Kids Of My Own. But I Do Want A Lot Of Kids.

I Want To Marry The Kind Of Girl That Walks Out Of An Abortion Clinic With A Lollipop.