I Come Up With My Jokes By

I Will Never Understand How A Mother Can Kill Her Own Baby And Not Get Away With It.

I Was Always Fascinated By Forbidden Things People Didn't Want To Talk About, Like Death.

I Can Stand By A Tweet. But Comedy Central Said They Couldn't Publicly Support Me, Unless I Deleted It. I Wasn't About To Tell The People Who Work For Me That They Didn't Have Jobs Anymore Because I Wasn't Going To Delete A Stupid Tweet.

Jeff Ross Has Been Roasting People Since Whitney Cummings Was Nothing But A Glint In The Eye Of The Man Who Raped Her Mother.

Comedy Central Made Me Delete The Boston Marathon Joke. I Wasn't Happy About It But, Despite Popular Belief, I Can Occasionally Be A Team Player.