I Once Stole A Pornographic Book That

Can You Believe That? She Says I'm Not Leader Enough For Her. Who Was She Looking For... Hitler?

Sex And Death. Two Things That Come But Once In My Lifetime, But At Least After Death You're Not Nauseous.

Do I Believe In God? I Did Until Mother's Accident. She Fell On Some Meat Loaf And It Penetrated Her Spleen.

If I Could Only See One Miracle, Just One Miracle. Like A Burning Bush, Or The Seas Part, Or My Uncle Sasha Pick Up A Check.

Honey! Bring Down A Copy Of My Will - And An Eraser!