I Choose Him Over And Over Again,

I Don't Need To Relive My Fears Anymore. All I Need To Do Now Is Try To Overcome Them.

It Will Be Difficult To Break The Habits Of Thinking Abnegation Instilled In Me, Like Tugging A Single Thread From A Complex Work Of Embroidery. But I Will Find New Habits, New Thoughts, New Rules. I Will Become Something Else.

I Do Trust You, Is What I Want To Say. But It Isn't True -- I Didn't Trust Him To Love Me Despite The Terrible Things I Had Done. I Don't Trust Anyone To Do That, But That Isn't His Problem; It's Mine.

I Was Angry With Him Before. I’m Not Really Sure Why. Maybe I Was Just Angry That The World Had Become Such A Complicated Place, That I Have Never Known Even A Fraction Of The Truth About It. Or That I Allowed Myself To Grieve For Someone Who Was Never Really Gone, The Same Way I Grieved For My Mother All The Years I Thought She Was Dead. Tricking Someone Into Grief Is One Of The Cruelest Tricks A Person Can Play, And It’s Been Played On Me Twice.

You've Never Had A Hamburger Before?" Asks Christine, Her Eyes Wide. "no," I Say. "is That What It's Called?" "stiffs Eat Plain Food," Four Says, Nodding At Christina. "why?" She Asks. I Shrug. "extravagance Is Considered Self-indulgent And Unnecessary." She Smirks. "no Wonder You Left." "yeah," I Say,rolling My Eyes. "it Was Just Because Of The Food." The Corner Of Four's Mouth Twitches.