I Brought You In This World, And

Repeat After Me. I Promise Not To Run Outside Of The House. I Promise Not To Run Inside Of The House. I Promise Not To Touch, Pick Up, Step On, Anything That Looks Interesting.

Children Today Know More About Sex Than I Or My Father Did.

The Secret Of Success Is To Be Like A Duck, Smooth And Unruffled On Top, But Paddling Furiously Underneath.

Nothing Separates The Generations More Than Music. By The Time A Child Is Eight Or Nine, He Has Developed A Passion For His Own Music That Is Even Stronger Than His Passions For Procrastination And Weird Clothes.

Kids Need To Remember That When You Put Something On Twitter, It's Not Like Whispering To Your Friend, You've Put It On A Billboard That The Whole World, Including Your Own Kids Someday, Can See.