I Believe I Have Voted For Both

Mitt Romney Said That He Liked To Fire People. Well, There's A Pretty Good Message To Send To Middle America. When Rick Perry Heard That, He Said, 'well That's Nothing. I Like To Execute People.'

You Know Who's Also Joining The Wall Street Protesters? Kanye West. That's A Real Good Idea -- A Guy With Diamonds In His Teeth Protesting Greed.

President Bush Wants To Build A Space Station On The Moon. And From The Moon, He Wants To Launch People To Mars. You Know What This Means. He's Been Drinking Again.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Now Governor Of California. He Is A Very Shrewd Man - He Already Has All Of His Sex Scandals Behind Him.

An Anthropologist At Tulane Has Just Come Back From A Field Trip To New Guinea With Reports Of A Tribe So Primitive That They Have Tide But Not New Tide With Lemon-fresh Borax.