I Assure You, My Friends, I Am

This Book Will Prove The Following Ten Facts: 1. A Goon Is A Being Who Melts Into The Foreground And Sticks There. 2. Pigs Have Wings, Making Them Hard To Catch. 3. All Power Corrupts, But We Need Electricity. 4. When An Irresistible Force Meets An Immovable Object, The Result Is A Family Fight. 5. Music Does Not Always Sooth The Troubled Beast. 6. An Englishman's Home Is His Castle. 7. The Female Of The Species Is More Deadly Than The Male. 8. One Black Eye Deserves Another. 9. Space Is The Final Frontier, And So Is The Sewage Farm. 10. It Pays To Increase Your Word Power.

Mr. Stock Came Out Of The Competition Tent Carrying His Zeppelin Marrow On One Shoulder And Demanding To Know What Was Going On. When He Saw The Hordes Advancing On Aidan, He Charged Off That Way, Whirling The Great Vegetable. The Puck, Who Was Rushing Behind The Horde, Yelling At Them To Grab Aidan And Kill Rolf, Was Mr. Stock's First Victim. The Marrow Caught Him Thock! On The Side Of The Head. It Laid The Puck Out Cold On The Grass, But The Mighty Vegetable Remained Intact, Mottled And Glossy

Beauty Isn't Made Of Sugar.

It Is Quite A Risk To Spank A Wizard For Getting Hysterical About His Hair.

There Is Very Seldom Any True Secret.