I Am Here, Come Closer," The Old

Beside Mama, In My Own Folding Chair, With My Feet Sticking Out In Front Of Me, I Thought About My Own Innards. Just A Few Months Before I'd Had No Idea Whether My Reproductive Equipment Worked. There Was No Evidence. But That Week I Had Become A Full-fledged Bleeder And Was Still Absorbed By This First Change In Myself That I Had Ever Noticed. The Click And Buzz Of My Synapses Kept Making The Same Connection. If You Can Change, You Can Also End. Death Had Always Been A Theory To Me. Now I Knew. The Terror Hurt Good And I Nursed It And Played It Like A Loose Tooth.

Within A Social Structure, A Familial Structure, Or A Cultural Structure Of Various Kinds, There Is A Substitute For Actual Freedom. I Mean, Actual Freedom Is A Very Abstract Notion; We Have No Idea What It Means, Except Within A Context - Freedom To Do What? So Within These Social Structures, Freedom Becomes Defined As Power, Your Ability To Make Choices, And The Power Relationship Within A Family, Any Family.

I Do Not Plan Any Painting, But Begin With Layers Of Textures And Colors. As I Layer The Colors, Something Is Suggested To Me From Within, And That Is How It Evolves.

I Think That It's Really Important To Go Away And Come Back.

Oh, Of Course, I Always Feel Unconfident.